church camp depression // temporary

Today is the day each year when I am in my "church camp depression" mode. That means another year of camp has went by and it's time to go home again. With this being my 13th year at camp, I think I definitely qualify for the "Church Camp Veteran" title. I know all about it - from avoiding how to be picked at Steal the Bacon (hate that game), to making sure you sit by a fan at Tabernacle, to eating way more junk food in one week that anyone should in a whole year - and I love it. 

As I left the camp for the last time until next year, tears filled my eyes. How can there not be tears when that place has such an impact on me? Church camp is more than just a place for me - it's a community. It's being completely surrounded by others that love and want to serve Christ. It's a time away from the world and it's temptations and troubles. It's 600+ people singing praises to our King and just being in fellowship with one another. 

So, you can understand my pain each year when it's time to leave. Driving away from KBA meant driving back to the real world, where things aren't always so easy and you aren't always with other believers. For some, this means going back to broken homes - parents fighting, feeling unloved or without worth. For others, it means just going back to the mundane responsibilities we have, feeling like God gets lost along the way somewhere. This usually makes me really sad, but today I was reminded of something. 

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

"Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them singing: 'To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!'" Revelation 5:13

Those moments at camp, or church, or wherever we feel closest to God are just a glimpse of what it will be like in heaven! We will never stop praising our God. We will never feel alone in our relationship with Him. We will never have to feel the hurts and pain of this world again. How wonderful will that be?? One of the best parts to me is that we'll never have to leave. We get to spend eternity with our Savior, worshiping Him and communing with all the others. 

Another great reminder is that this world is temporary. Our time spent here won't compare to forever spent with Christ. We may feel stuck in whatever we're going through, but in just a little while, it will all be over. Whatever battle we are facing, Jesus has already won for us. Whatever decisions we have to make, God has the answer and wants us to rest in Him. 

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

So, if you're like me, and counting down the days until you're once again surrounded by so many believers, just remind yourself of the glorious days that are coming - not just days back at a church camp, but days in heaven spent with our Father. I hope this is as much of an encouragement for you as it has been for me today.

:]

Man of Sorrows

Every year, on this day, there is always so much to do. Easter is the holiday where ALL of our family comes over. This means the Saturday before is meant for lots of cleaning, lots of fresh flowers (heart eyes), and lots of baking (even bigger heart eyes). So tonight, I was cleaning the house, listening to some praise & worship music, and the weight of Easter and all it means just kind of hit me.

To be completely vulnerable, this time of year is when I struggle the most spiritually. It's like I'm so far from that camp high I felt nine months ago, school is so close to being over, and I just find "better things to do" than intentionally make time for just me and God. This is the time of year where I find myself going through the motions. It's not like this straying away from God is on purpose, it just sort of...happens.

So as I was cleaning, the song "Man of Sorrows" came on by Hillsong United. And I REALLY love that song. Usually when the song starts playing, I'm singing along in my own mini concert, but tonight I just listened to the words. How powerful lyrics in a song can be.

"Now my debt is paid

It is paid in full

By the precious blood

That my Jesus spilled

Now the curse of sin

Has no hold on me

Whom the Son sets free

Oh is free indeed

See the stone is rolled away

Behold the empty tomb

Hallelujah God be praised

He's risen from the grave"

This is what Jesus reminded me of tonight:

 All that Jesus went through, He did so because of me. Because of you. Our sins are the very things that drove Him to the cross. But instead of us having to pay the price, He took on the death we deserve, and gives us the life and eternity that only He is worthy of. This is grace. His precious blood was spilled so that we don't have to feel the full weight of all of our sins. 

This means that whatever sin we struggle with  - however distant we feel from God, no matter how many times we feel guilty because of poor choices we've made - it's already been taken care of. The power that sin has over you was nailed onto that cross when our Jesus was. "The curse of sin has no hold on me." Through Christ, we are set free from the chains of sin that we so easily wrap ourselves up in. So even when I stray, God is constantly pursuing me, waiting on me with open arms like the Prodigal Son to come back. 

Good Friday is the day, 2000 years ago, that everyone felt that all hope had died. It was a miserable day, but what they didn't know was that Sunday was coming. Jesus could not be held in the grave. But if Good Friday was a day of mourning, and Sunday was a day of nonperishable hope, what was Saturday all about?

Saturday was the day of waiting. The day where there was still no hope to be found. It was the day after Jesus was crucified. The disciples and Christ followers had to find a way to live again without the Man they had followed for the past three years. In all things, waiting is hard, but in this situation, it would be almost unbearable. Waiting without hope. 

If you feel that's where you are, know that Sunday is coming! Whatever you are facing, it will come to an end. Find hope through Christ, who has trumped death forever. 

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." (Psalm 130:5)

I hope that you all have a wonderful, spirit-filled Sunday, my friends! Tomorrow is a day of celebration of our Jesus Christ. 

"By His wounds, we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)