church camp depression // temporary

Today is the day each year when I am in my "church camp depression" mode. That means another year of camp has went by and it's time to go home again. With this being my 13th year at camp, I think I definitely qualify for the "Church Camp Veteran" title. I know all about it - from avoiding how to be picked at Steal the Bacon (hate that game), to making sure you sit by a fan at Tabernacle, to eating way more junk food in one week that anyone should in a whole year - and I love it. 

As I left the camp for the last time until next year, tears filled my eyes. How can there not be tears when that place has such an impact on me? Church camp is more than just a place for me - it's a community. It's being completely surrounded by others that love and want to serve Christ. It's a time away from the world and it's temptations and troubles. It's 600+ people singing praises to our King and just being in fellowship with one another. 

So, you can understand my pain each year when it's time to leave. Driving away from KBA meant driving back to the real world, where things aren't always so easy and you aren't always with other believers. For some, this means going back to broken homes - parents fighting, feeling unloved or without worth. For others, it means just going back to the mundane responsibilities we have, feeling like God gets lost along the way somewhere. This usually makes me really sad, but today I was reminded of something. 

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

"Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them singing: 'To Him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!'" Revelation 5:13

Those moments at camp, or church, or wherever we feel closest to God are just a glimpse of what it will be like in heaven! We will never stop praising our God. We will never feel alone in our relationship with Him. We will never have to feel the hurts and pain of this world again. How wonderful will that be?? One of the best parts to me is that we'll never have to leave. We get to spend eternity with our Savior, worshiping Him and communing with all the others. 

Another great reminder is that this world is temporary. Our time spent here won't compare to forever spent with Christ. We may feel stuck in whatever we're going through, but in just a little while, it will all be over. Whatever battle we are facing, Jesus has already won for us. Whatever decisions we have to make, God has the answer and wants us to rest in Him. 

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble, But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

So, if you're like me, and counting down the days until you're once again surrounded by so many believers, just remind yourself of the glorious days that are coming - not just days back at a church camp, but days in heaven spent with our Father. I hope this is as much of an encouragement for you as it has been for me today.

:]

Man of Sorrows

Every year, on this day, there is always so much to do. Easter is the holiday where ALL of our family comes over. This means the Saturday before is meant for lots of cleaning, lots of fresh flowers (heart eyes), and lots of baking (even bigger heart eyes). So tonight, I was cleaning the house, listening to some praise & worship music, and the weight of Easter and all it means just kind of hit me.

To be completely vulnerable, this time of year is when I struggle the most spiritually. It's like I'm so far from that camp high I felt nine months ago, school is so close to being over, and I just find "better things to do" than intentionally make time for just me and God. This is the time of year where I find myself going through the motions. It's not like this straying away from God is on purpose, it just sort of...happens.

So as I was cleaning, the song "Man of Sorrows" came on by Hillsong United. And I REALLY love that song. Usually when the song starts playing, I'm singing along in my own mini concert, but tonight I just listened to the words. How powerful lyrics in a song can be.

"Now my debt is paid

It is paid in full

By the precious blood

That my Jesus spilled

Now the curse of sin

Has no hold on me

Whom the Son sets free

Oh is free indeed

See the stone is rolled away

Behold the empty tomb

Hallelujah God be praised

He's risen from the grave"

This is what Jesus reminded me of tonight:

 All that Jesus went through, He did so because of me. Because of you. Our sins are the very things that drove Him to the cross. But instead of us having to pay the price, He took on the death we deserve, and gives us the life and eternity that only He is worthy of. This is grace. His precious blood was spilled so that we don't have to feel the full weight of all of our sins. 

This means that whatever sin we struggle with  - however distant we feel from God, no matter how many times we feel guilty because of poor choices we've made - it's already been taken care of. The power that sin has over you was nailed onto that cross when our Jesus was. "The curse of sin has no hold on me." Through Christ, we are set free from the chains of sin that we so easily wrap ourselves up in. So even when I stray, God is constantly pursuing me, waiting on me with open arms like the Prodigal Son to come back. 

Good Friday is the day, 2000 years ago, that everyone felt that all hope had died. It was a miserable day, but what they didn't know was that Sunday was coming. Jesus could not be held in the grave. But if Good Friday was a day of mourning, and Sunday was a day of nonperishable hope, what was Saturday all about?

Saturday was the day of waiting. The day where there was still no hope to be found. It was the day after Jesus was crucified. The disciples and Christ followers had to find a way to live again without the Man they had followed for the past three years. In all things, waiting is hard, but in this situation, it would be almost unbearable. Waiting without hope. 

If you feel that's where you are, know that Sunday is coming! Whatever you are facing, it will come to an end. Find hope through Christ, who has trumped death forever. 

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope." (Psalm 130:5)

I hope that you all have a wonderful, spirit-filled Sunday, my friends! Tomorrow is a day of celebration of our Jesus Christ. 

"By His wounds, we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

From Him, Through Him, For Him

Hello friends! I hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas break as much as I am. It's given me so much time to spend more time in God's Word and catch up on lots of reading I've been wanting to do. Something on my heart these last few nights came from my alone time with God a few nights ago.

"For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen."
- Romans 11:36


This verse really opened my eyes to a few things. First, everything comes from God. The good. The bad. Not only does it come from God, but it has a purpose from God. Every season we find ourselves in is shaping us for our future, and hopefully, bringing us closer to Christ. I am so guilty of not seeing the blessings in the suffering and the mundane. I constantly push God to bring me out of seasons of waiting or feelings of distance, instead of focusing on God's goodness. When I realize that all past and present experiences, and all relationships and circumstances are straight from His hand and part of His divine plan, I can more easily accept whatever is going on.

Everything exists by His power. How often do I forget that I could do nothing apart from Him? I start relying on what I think are my own strengths, trying to control my life without God. Even my best efforts aren't good enough because sin is sin to God. But He made a way for me, so that I don't have to be good enough, I just have to be a child of His. God is sovereign. He is above all. The Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End. God’s power is not acquired, nor does it depend upon any recognition by any other authority. It belongs to Him inherently.

All things are intended for His glory. We were made to worship God. And if we didn't? The rocks would cry out. We serve an awesome God! I so easily making everything in my life about myself. I begin seeking glory for myself. Getting upset when I don't get the credit I feel I deserve. In reality though, it's not about me at all. It's about giving everything back for His glory. We can give God the glory in everything in our lives, even the most mundane things such as eating and drinking.

"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out. (Luke 19:40)

He must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30)

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

I hope this was as thought provoking for you as it was for me. If nothing else, know that you are loved and valued so much by the Maker of the universe. He sent His Son to die on the cross so that you and I could become His children and spend eternity with Him in Heaven. He is so praise worthy! 

Have a wonderful New Year, my friends. :)

"Who can I love today who may have nothing to offer me in return?"

This is the question that has stuck with me over the past few days. My nightly devotion at the moment is over true hospitality (She Reads Truth - awesome studies!) and it is opening my eyes in so many ways.

We as Christians are called to love people - including the least of these. What even is "the least of these?" It's those at the very bottom of the pile. The forgotten. The highly needy with nothing to give in return. The widows. The orphans. The poor and hurting. The people that no one wants to talk to. In Matthew 25, Christ tells us that when we love and serve these, we are loving and serving Jesus Himself. But also, when we forget or ignore those in need, we are forgetting and ignoring Jesus.

I know, I know. It's really hard to take part in someone else's difficult circumstances - to take on their heartache as if it was our own. But think about this: When we love those that are broken and alienated, we are mirroring the example Christ set for us. God made a way for us when we had nothing to offer Him, when we were dead because of our sin, when we had nothing good in us. He still came and took our places. He came because He loves us and He sees past our brokenness. How wonderful is that?

We are called to intentionally love others because that's what Christ did for us. To love is to let our Savior work through us.

Look for those around you today that you can intentionally love. My prayer every day lately has been for God to give me opportunities to consciously love and pour into someone that needs it. He does not disappoint and He is oh so faithful.

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

 Waiting is definitely not one of my favorite things to do. Whether it's waiting for my bagel to pop out of the toaster each morning, or waiting to graduate, I simply don't like it. I guess you could say I'm a little impatient. This is unfortunate when it comes to waiting on God's timing. Today's society seems to be a society of instant gratification. We can easily get what we want, when we want it, with most things. This is not the case when it comes to our Savior. I've definitely learned that I'm not going through life on my timetables, but His. Everyone goes through seasons of waiting in their life. It's a time of remaining in that hopeless place when you have all these hopes, dreams, and goals, and wondering how, when, and if God will ever allow them to come true.

  I would say now is a time of waiting for me. I know God has all these great things planned for me to do to spread his love and I don't want to wait. I want to do big things now. I want to experience new people. I want to experience new places. I can daydream all day long about what my life is going to be like post high school. 

What I've learned, though, is that this is one of the greatest times for growing. A time when my life can be completely about my relationship with God. A time of preparing me for what's next. I always think of the saying "Bloom where you are planted." For now, I am planted here and it's my job to serve and love God by serving and loving others. This is a time to learn to trust and draw closer to God the most, while He is preparing me for the purpose He has called me to. This is a time to appreciate the familiarity of family and home before He calls me to the unfamiliar.

It's so easy to forget that God has a purpose for me being where I am at this exact moment. I have no reason to be an idle Christian, doing nothing to further the Kingdom, just because I'm waiting on God to take me to greater places. Straight up - waiting is tough. It can seriously be no fun sometimes. These are the times God has to remind me that if I never had to wait for anything and got everything I wanted right away, why would I need to keep desiring and setting my eyes on the coming back of Christ.

Today, I am resting in the fact that Christ isn't finished working on me yet and He is doing behind-the-scenes work for what's next in my life, as well as yours. Later, I will look back and appreciate this season.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:"

      -Ecclesiastes 3:1

Not of this World

What I'm about to write has been on my mind a lot here lately. I will try my best to not start just ranting. No promises. :)

Unless you are totally secluded from the rest of the world, I'm sure you've heard/seen everything new from Miley Cyrus. Something rising just as quickly are the "grind on me" videos. Boys everywhere are making these videos and posting on social media for all the world to see. Kanye has a look alike Jesus come up on stage with him and sing on his tour and has pictures taken of himself wearing a crown of thorns. 

These people have so much influence on other people's lives, whether they realize it or not. What about those little girls that don't have a good Christian woman to be an example for them? They see Miley and all the attention she's getting, and they can't help but think that the world will accept them if they act like that. They see "grind on me" videos and think that to be desired, they have to compromise their bodies. This is so sad to me. 

What frustrates me the most are people that claim to be Christians and claim to want to be a good example, yet they still listen to the explicit music, still "revine" such distasteful things, and still have filth coming out of their mouth. If you say you are a Christian, but there is no change in the way you live, what's the point? When you say, "Yes, I want to follow Jesus," but don't live like it, unbelievers see no need in seeking salvation. James 3:10 says, "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be."

As Christians, we are supposed to be a light in this world. We're supposed to be different; we're supposed to be an example. You're not being an example when you're trying to live the best of both worlds. There's no straddling the fence, here. You don't have to sing along when your friends turn "We Can't Stop" on. And PLEASE don't get all googley eyed when you see immature boys pelvic thrusting to the beat of a song (seriously, boys? Keep it classy.) Trust me, they will take notice. They will see that you're different. And they may even ask you about it. That gives you the perfect opportunity to share your beliefs! 

What I'm saying is that when you tell the world that you are a Christian, you are put on a pedestal. People are going to watch how you act, talk, look. Make people see God through you! Make them see that you are not of this world. Be different! And remember, little ones are looking up at you. 

He's not finished with me yet.

This year has been a huge eye opener for me. It's given me a glimpse of the real world. There's more stress, more pressure, more things to be done, and less time for it all, it seems. There are so many questions I have about my future. What does God want for my life? Where is He leading me? Who does He want me to be? 

But this is what I'm learning: I don't have to have the answers right this instant. He has a master plan for my life. God isn't finished me with yet. He isn't going to leave me to figure everything out on my own. I'm a work in progress. In these times, He is shaping me and changing me into who He wants me to be. Every hardship, along with every great moment I have, is God chiseling me into the young woman He wants me to become. All these times of uncertainty are preparing me for my future. In the end, I will come out exactly the way God formed me to be. In the end, He will reveal to me what path I should take. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:" The time will come when I will hear God's soft voice guiding me into my future, but for now, I can be content in seeking and trusting in Him. 

-Baylee